


It is over

by Smoke-and-Mirrors (8Smoke_and_Mirrors8)



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Destroy Ending, London, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-12-22 06:40:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11961822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/8Smoke_and_Mirrors8/pseuds/Smoke-and-Mirrors
Summary: Kaidan ran through the ruins of London -well, at least he tried to. It was not that easy to run with his prominent limb and that dizzy feeling, he was not able to shake. He had read what felt like a hundred books and articles about the symphonies of war. The screaming, the bombs, the shots, the crying, but he had never heard anything about the most terrifying sound of them all. The silence.





	It is over

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys,
> 
> This is the first fanfiction... well... actually the first piece of writing I ever posted. And english is not my mother tongue, so if you find any mistakes, please tell me so I can edit them :)
> 
> I wrote this at 3 am because I suffer from insomnia and thought "Hey! You always start those really long fanfictions and never finish them! Why not write something short and actually publish it on ao3?".
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading this!

Kaidan ran through the ruins of London -well, at least he tried to. It was not that easy to run with his prominent limb and that dizzy feeling, he was not able to shake. He had read what felt like a hundred books and articles about the symphonies of war. The screaming, the bombs, the shots, the crying, but he had never heard anything about the most terrifying sound of them all. The silence. He had fought his fair share of battles and until this point he had won them all. He was one of the happy few, who had survived this madness and yet it felt like the war was lost. Restless he stumbled on grovel that littered the streets and carried his aching body farther and farther into the abandoned landscape. He was aware of the people, who followed him and kept repeating the same hollow phrases all over again, but he kept on ignoring them. He had to focus. He had to find him.

A clawed hand landed on his shoulder and the biotic tried to shrug it off, which was a greater effort than he expected and made him lose his balance. Garrus, grabbed him and held him upright, while Kaidan still tried to free himself. “Alenko, you need to stop this right now!”, said the Turian urgently, while the human avoided eye-contact, “Shepard wouldn’t have wanted you to do this to yourself”. The words stung even more than expected and the biotic flinched back. “So you already gave up on him? You all believe him to be dead, while he could still be out there?”, Kaidan screamed and finally managed to pull himself away from his friend. “He said he wouldn’t do this to me again and I trust him. I trust him to keep his promises. He is still out there. We just need to find him. We just need-“. A loud sob interrupted Alenko’s rambling. When he turned around, he saw Liara’s tear streaked face. The Asari was one of the only persons to join him instantly in his search for his lover and she had almost seemed as determined as he was himself. “Please, Kaidan...”, she begged and proud Asari seemed to crumble in front of him, “Please... I can’t lose you, too. You need to stop this”.

Alenko clenched his fists and shook his head. “No, I can’t abandon him. I need to find him”, he claimed.  “We will continue to search for him”, said Garrus and this time Kaidan saw the sincerity and worry in his eyes, “We won’t stop looking for John, but we need you to take care of yourself. Just imagine what Shep would do to us if he knew that we let you run around in your condition”. Kaidan swayed and look at the ruins around him. Now that he stood still for a few moments, he felt his aching body scream for some rest and sleep. “But... what if he needs me?”. His voice seemed nothing more than a hoarse whisper. Liara, Garrus and the few others that had followed him continued to talk to him, maybe even attempted to comfort him, but he was no longer able to grasp what they said. A dense fog was clouding his thoughts and his limbs seemed to be held down by some kind of weight. _I abandoned him. I lost him again. He left me. Shepard is..._

~

Kaidan startled out of his dream and heard nothing except his own racing heartbeat. In the darkness, he felt something touching him, almost pressing him down and struggled to get free. Someone was talking to him, a voice, maybe familiar, maybe not, tried to sooth him, but he could not focus on the words. All he knew, was that he needed to find his best friend and lover. The hands that tried to keep him still disappeared and he shot up and out of the tangled sheets around him. Then, someone turned on the lights and he had to blink, to the sudden brightness. After a moment he opened his eyes and was not able to process the sight before him. “Kaidan, everything is all right”, said the man in front of him, with a hoarse voice and moved a little clumsily, to get out of bed too. Wide eyed Kaidan took in the scars on his face and the painfully slow steps he took towards him, until they were face to face. “It was just a nightmare”, John said. Kaidan blinked in shock, before he shook the dream off and pulled his boyfriend into a desperate hug. “No”, he said, “It was a memory. But it is over now”.


End file.
